The word ‘authenticity’ gets thrown around a lot but what role does it actually play in our happiness?

We all know what authenticity means on a superficial level - being ourselves. But how do we know who we are at our core and whether we’re being true to it?

Some people wear masks like armour and might be lucky to recognise that what they’re projecting is what they want the world to see and not their true essence. So how do we know whether we’re actually being ourselves? One of the reasons this is hard to answer is because we are forever changing. What might have been inauthentic or untrue for us at one time might not be wrong for us now. Which means the first step is not to compare ourselves to a list of values, beliefs or ideas we have set for ourselves (although this can also be helpful) but to listen within. To FEEL. Our intuition connects us to the deepest parts of ourselves. Listening to it allows us to strip away the logic or what we think we should feel or should want leaving behind our honest desires and the path we should take. 

Authenticity is also balance. I learnt this the hard way on social media. Sometimes we show only a part of ourselves. But we don’t allow the rest to be seen. So we are both truth-telling AND obscuring the truth of who we are by overly focusing on that one part and disregarding the rest. On TikTok in the early days for example I showed the part of me that loved fashion and spreading positive energy. That was a part of me. But in (unintentionally) leaving out the rest I failed to portray who I was as a whole. On the other hand when what we share comes from a genuine place that offers a snippet, a window into a small element of what we believe or how we view the world this can be very authentic without having to reveal the most personal parts of our life for the whole world to see. 

But what does any of this even matter? How does it apply to our lives and creating deeper happiness? We’re at the point where especially online we can be accused of being inauthentic if we don’t share every aspect of our lives. But authenticity is not about how much we share with others, it’s whether you’re living in harmony with what you want and the person you’ve become on the inside. 

Over time our wants, likes and interests change. The vision we have for our lives can change. Authenticity is giving yourself permission to catch up with your inner world and live your physical life according to these inner changes and truths. The word authenticity is often used as a lens through which we try to understand other people - whether or not they are BEING authentic. But when you deny to yourself what you really want, what you know will bring you happiness, or when you choose to purse something that doesn’t feel good to you or that isn’t what is truly calling you out of habit or fear of judgement, it is you, not anybody else, who lives the consequences of that lack of authenticity. 

Shoshi Winstanley-Brown | The Immersive Spiritual Mindset Coach